As a young adult, admitting problems is something that does not rest easily with me. For the past year I have been battling something that I refused to diagnose or let anyone see. I realize now after seeing all the damage it has done to my body that I have to come out with it and admit my problem as a first step in overcoming it.
Binge-eating is one of the most common eating disorders, that is normally termed as gorging. It kills me to think that I am this, but i am. People don't see what goes on behind closed doors as I have my stashes of processed sugar and I binge eat to overcome stress or to fill some void of emotion that I need that day. Its a constant battle to escape from this demon, but it always ultimately finds me again. It causes me to have mood swings and sugar highs that can make me really hard to be around and make me an emotional basket case.
Not only does my sugar addiction make me emotionally crazy but it takes a toll on my body. At this moment i have disgusting stretch marks and I am borderline diabetic, so my change needs to be for myself and to better myself.
My name is Kelsey and I am addicted to processed sugar and I am a binge-eater
Friday, December 30, 2011
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Two steps back….
Weight loss isn't easy. I have relied on alot in my life to get me through. I thought this time I would rely on myself enough to get me over that hump. It turns out that my resolve is weaker than i have ever thought. I have regained 20lbs since i lost the 30 this summer. I am utterly disgusted with myself. It turns out i have to change more than i thought. I am so unhappy with myself right now, that I am establishing this as my all time low. Never have i felt so lazy, disgusting, and unattractive as I do now and I am not even at my heaviest. I say this a lot, but this time I feel that I am at the breaking point. I need to get healthy if not for my health, for my own sanity.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Self-Awareness
As I start on my weight loss journey I am overcome by obstacles that work to tear myself down. Everyday is a multi-faceted challenge, from deciding what to eat to fight cravings such as candy. Working in a grocery store doesn't help either. lol
I pray everyday that God will help me stop those cravings. Because ultimately its the habits and the emotional connection that i keeping me from breaking away completely.
To understand my eating problems some things are necessary to know about me. I have been overweight for the majority of my life. It started with the fighting.
My parents we married for almost 10 years before they had me and you would think that they were pretty stable. Well when i was ten they got divorced and i turned to food, the only thing that had never abandoned me. I still remember my dad leaving for the last time with me clinging to his leg screaming for him not to leave.
From that point onward my weight was a yo-yo.
Now that I am a senior in college i am determined to talk control of my own destiny and become healthy. So far i have lost 13lbs in the past 2.5 weeks. My goal is 30lbs by the start of school. I am hoping to surpass that, but its a good starting point. I will post as often as i can to post ambitions, advice, and updates on my weight loss. Thanks for tuning in and I hope that I can help or serve as a means to help anyone out there that is going through what I am.
I pray everyday that God will help me stop those cravings. Because ultimately its the habits and the emotional connection that i keeping me from breaking away completely.
To understand my eating problems some things are necessary to know about me. I have been overweight for the majority of my life. It started with the fighting.
My parents we married for almost 10 years before they had me and you would think that they were pretty stable. Well when i was ten they got divorced and i turned to food, the only thing that had never abandoned me. I still remember my dad leaving for the last time with me clinging to his leg screaming for him not to leave.
From that point onward my weight was a yo-yo.
Now that I am a senior in college i am determined to talk control of my own destiny and become healthy. So far i have lost 13lbs in the past 2.5 weeks. My goal is 30lbs by the start of school. I am hoping to surpass that, but its a good starting point. I will post as often as i can to post ambitions, advice, and updates on my weight loss. Thanks for tuning in and I hope that I can help or serve as a means to help anyone out there that is going through what I am.
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