Two steps back….

Weight loss isn't easy. I have relied on alot in my life to get me through. I thought this time I would rely on myself enough to get me over that hump. It turns out that my resolve is weaker than i have ever thought. I have regained 20lbs since i lost the 30 this summer. I am utterly disgusted with myself. It turns out i have to change more than i thought. I am so unhappy with myself right now, that I am establishing this as my all time low. Never have i felt so lazy, disgusting, and unattractive as I do now and I am not even at my heaviest. I say this a lot, but this time I feel that I am at the breaking point. I need to get healthy if not for my health, for my own sanity.